In Columbus, Ohio, police recently arrested Matthew Pancake, 31, who was sleeping on a shopping center bench in leopard print pajamas. He had apparently broken into a nearby Petland store releasing many dogs, birds, and rabbits, and ferrets, several of which were seen running around the parking lot when police arrived. Most of the animals were reportedly safely rounded up, though the last local report said there were still a few animals for whom store employees were searching.

More bizarrely, when officers searched the leopard pajamaed Pancake, he had four hamsters in his pockets.

Columbus Police received a burglary alarm notification of another nearby store in the same shopping center that led them to the scene. Once there, they discovered the pet store other businesses had been vandalized.

Pancake was arrested and taken to a hospital for treatment for his injuries suffered in the break-ins. His initial bond was set at $10,000 on breaking & entering and vandalism related charges.

A Pinellas County man was arrested for domestic violence battery after striking his sister with a piece of fried chicken.

According to the arrest report filed by the Clearwater Police Department, “The Defendant and victim were in a verbal altercation when the defendant grabbed a bag of chicken from the victim and began to throw pieces of Church’s Chicken at her. One piece of fried chicken hit the victim in the back and left debris of food on her shoulder.”

Asked later why he committed the crime, “He stated he did this because he had not eaten and did not want the piece of chicken the victim offered him so he became upset.”

I will put aside the issue of police discretion to make an arrest, especially on a misdemeanor like this. Great police work. The Clearwater citizenry must feel safer with this defendant off the street. By law, however, this was a battery.

Florida Statute §784.03 (1)(a) defines it this way: The offense of battery occurs when a person actually and intentionally touches or strikes another person against the will of that person. This includes using some other object to strike the person, like with a piece of chicken.

I have actually represented clients on a couple of similarly ridiculous battery charges. One was a husband who got mad at his wife and threw a frozen pizza at her only to hit her best friend in the forehead leaving a pretty wicked bruise. Another client was accused of battering her brother by spilling a Coke on him during an argument.

In this current example, should the guy have been arrested for hitting his sister with a piece of chicken? No. But it was a battery by definition and this guy was a fowl of the law.

Henry Earl, known as “the world’s most arrested man” for his long wrap sheet covering decades, died in Owenton, Kentucky, in May. He was 74 years old.

The Lexington Herald-Leader reported that Mr. Earl had been arrested approximately 1,300 times since the Division of Community Corrections of Lexington Fayette Urban County Government began digitally documenting arrests in 1992.

His first arrest came in Fayette County in July, 1970, for carrying a concealed weapon when he was 20 years old. Since then, it is reported that he spent over 6,000 days in jail.

Supposedly, his record breaking jail spree caught the eye of producers at “Jimmy Kimmel Live” in 2004 but Mr. Earl was unable to attend. You guessed it, he was in jail at the time.
A few years after his would-be television appearance, Mr. Earl logged his 1,000th arrest in 2008 when he was found passed out on a person’s back porch.

His last arrest was for public intoxication in April, 2017. Mr. Earl’s jail sentence in the years before this last arrest had been getting longer, presumably as media reports of his long record made him notorious, judges became less lenient with him.

There are unconfirmed reports that he was once well known in the Lexington community, where he would hang out around the University of Kentucky college bars where students would buy him drinks.

Earlier this year, a 24 year old Pinellas County man was charged with felony Fleeing and Eluding police officers and other related misdemeanor charges. He also helped provide evidence against himself by video taping his antics and posting them online after he had gotten away.

The rider was spotted by detectives operating his dirt bike in a reckless manner.

The report spells out the reckless driving as, “purposefully running red signals; riding on one-wheel ‘wheelies’ several times in various areas; driving across private properties, sidewalks, into oncoming traffic, passing on a double yellow traffic median, and riding dangerously close in the direction of police officers forcing them to leave the roadway at times.”

At various times the rider stopped and taunted police, waving them over and then taking off again when they got close.

According to other media reports, he also flipped the bird at police and at one point taunted, “Why you so mad? Oh, I’m scared.”

While the rider escaped the scene, he was tracked down the next day. It turned out the rider had a helmet mounted camera and he posted a long clip of the chase on his You Tube channel. Several people were able to positively identify him as the rider that day and he was arrested. The rider’s bond was set at $17,500 on the felony fleeing charge and 3 other related misdemeanors.

Important lesson: if you are going to do something this stupid and reckless, do not video it!

The driver of a red, 2016 Chevrolet Camaro and even his passenger were arrested in Orange County on street racing related charges.  Residents had called the Orange County Sheriff’s Office with complaints of street racing.  Deputies that arrived on the scene witnessed the racing and one deputy started to follow the red Camaro as it tried to leave the scene.  Once the vehicle got on the turnpike, it was clocked going 199 MPH in the 70 MPH zone.  The deputy did not try to stop the vehicle but kept it in view.

The red Camaro was found a short time later on a different street.  The deputy pulled up behind and as the light turned green, another race began.  This time the deputy hit his lights and siren and the Camaro pulled over.  A search of the car revealed a camera in the back window that was recording the events for the driver’s Instagram page.

The driver was arrested for first degree misdemeanor Racing on a Highway in violation of §316.191(2)(a).  That statute reads that “a person may not drive any motor vehicle in any street takeover, stunt driving, race, speed competition or contest, drag race or acceleration contest, test of physical endurance, or exhibition of speed or acceleration or for the purpose of making a speed record on any highway, roadway, or parking lot.”

The wording of this statute is very broad and would seem to encompass even private property, as parking lots are included.  

More surprising is the arrest of the passenger for being in the car during the driver’s violation.  This, too, is a first degree misdemeanor.  Section 316.191(2)(c) reads, “A person may not knowingly ride as a passenger in any such race, drag race, street takeover, stunt driving competition, contest, test, or exhibition.”  This builds in a defense of knowledge requiring the prosecutor to prove the passenger knew illegal driving activity was going to happen.  Imagine if this was extended to DUI where a passenger could be arrested for knowingly driving with someone police allege is impaired.  Thankfully, Florida law has not gone to that extreme…yet.

Multiple violations of the Street Racing Statute are enhanceable.  While subsequent violations remain first degree misdemeanors, the fines go up, as well as the length of the required driver’s license revocations.  The first offense has a fine of $500-to-$1,000 and a 1 year driver’s license revocation.  A second offense within 5 years of the prior violation carries a fine range of $1,000-to-$3,000 and a 2 year driver’s license revocation.  A third or subsequent offense within 5 years of the prior violation carries a fines of $2,000-to-$3,000 and a 4 year driver’s license revocation.  For second or subsequent violations, there are provisions for the vehicles being seized and forfeited under the ominous and broad Florida Contraband Forfeiture Act.

At the end of the statute, section 7 specifically exempts racetracks, drag strips, or other designated areas set aside by proper authorities for such purposes.

A Louisiana woman allegedly found to have had methamphetamine inside her vagina claims she did not know where the drug came from, according to police.

A man called the West Monroe Police Department to report that while he was in the shower, his would-be girlfriend, Ashley Beth Rolland, 23, snagged more than $5,000 in cash and left his apartment. She was arrested soon thereafter on the theft charge.

According to reports, female correctional officer later searched Rolland and, inside of Rolland’s vagina, they discovered $6,233, along with “a clear plastic bag” containing approximately one gram of meth. Rolland had no problem acknowledging she was essentially a human ATM but denied knowing of the presence of the meth.

Rolland would ultimately give up on her “Where did that come from?!” defense and admit the drugs found in her body cavity did belong to her. For the theft and a reduced drug possession charge, she was sentenced to four months in the Ouachita Parish Correctional Center.